Many people, especially Catholics, hold up Joseph, the foster father of Jesus, as the role model for all fathers. I find the inherent comparison to be unfair. Saint Joseph was married to the Immaculate Conception and, one episode of adolescent rebellion in the Jerusalem Temple notwithstanding, Yeshua bar Joseph was, by all accounts, the perfect Child.
Aside from Joseph, most fathers in the Bible were abject failures at fatherhood. Noah's son laughed at him when he passed drunk and naked. Abraham banished his first son into the desert and than almost sacrificed his remaining heir. Jacob's favoritism toward his youngest children led his other sons to sell their brother into slavery. David's firstborn son and heir apparent raped his half-sister while another son, Absalom, plotted a coup against his father. Most Biblical fathers are an example of what NOT to do.
That is why Catholics are lucky. We have a positive example of fatherhood in the book of Tobit, a book which the Protestants reject as apocryphal. It is the story of a righteous Jew whose family was carried off to Nineveh when the Assyrian armies conquered the kingdom of Israel. While still in Israel, Tobit traveled to Jerusalem to worship in the Temple, while most of his fellow Israelites worshipped in Samaria or in high places which were not dedicated to God. While in Nineveh, Tobit follows the dietary laws, which most of his countrymen ignore. He also makes sure that the Israelites who were executed by Sennacherib in revenge for his defeat at the hands of King Hezekiah of Judah. are given proper burials. He leaves a feast in order to bury a corpse of his country man. In short, Tobit follows the laws of God scrupulously and always does the right thing.
But bad things still happen to him. He had to go into hiding when the king finds out that Tobit is the one who is burying his victims. His neighbors, including fellow Israelites, ridicule him. To top it all off, he is blinded when a bird poops in his eyes while he is sleeping outside because he is unclean due to contact with a corpse. Even his marriage becomes strained. Life is so bad that he prays for death.
In anticipation of the fulfillment of his prayer, Tobit sends his only son Tobiah off to Rages in Media to collect a very large sum of money from Tobit's cousin. After a chapter's worth of paternal advice, Tobit sends Tobiah on his journey, along with a guide named Azariah, who just happened to be hanging out at the city gate, looking for a job, when Tobiah came by. The author of Tobit (who isn't Tobit) quickly informs the readers that Azariah is really the archangel Raphael in disguise, sent by God to heal Tobit as well as a relative of his, Sarah, who lives in Media.
Sarah is a beautiful young woman who has been married seven times. In each case, the husband died mysteriously before consummating the marriage. The author states that the demon Asmodeus strangled the men. That sounded almost as ludicrous as it would today and Sarah's servant accused her of murdering her husbands. Sarah is in such despair that she, like Tobit, prays for death.
While on the road, Tobiah goes to swim and bath in a river. In the water, he is attacked by a large fish. Azariah instructs him to kill the fish by grasping its gills and than gut it and remove the gall, liver and heart, which apparently are useful as medicines. The pair arrives in Media and need a place to stay. Azariah insists they stay at the home of Raguel, Sarah’s father, who greets the duo excitedly when he learns that Tobiah is Tobit’s son.
When they enter the house, Tobiah notices Sarah and falls in love. She is his kinswoman, a member of the same tribe and he is her closest living relative, which according to the Levirate law, gives him the undisputable right to marry her. Tobit had instructed his son earlier to only marry a woman from their tribe of Naphtali. Tobiah’s only hesitation in the matter arises from the fact that a demon has killed the last seven men she married. Fortunately, Tobiah is friends with an archangel which comes in handy when dispatching a demon.
After Raquel agrees to allow Tobiah to marry his daughter, Raphael instructs Tobiah to burn the heart and liver on the brazier so that the smoke will ward off Asmodeus. Tobiah does so and prays along with Sarah in the bridal chamber on their wedding night. He asks for God’s protection and blessing on his marriage. At the same time Raphael chases Asmodeus into Upper Egypt and chains him there in the desert. (I wonder of anyone noticed that Azariah was missing?) Raquel and his servants secretly dig a grave for Tobiah but joyfully find him alive after which Raquel has his servants fill the grave back in (sucks to be those servants).
Sarah’s family was so happy that they gave the couple a fourteen day wedding feast. Azariah went to Tobit’s cousin to collect the money and bring him back for the feast. When Tobiah left to return to Nineveh, Raquel gave him half of his property as a wedding gift.
Meanwhile, Tobit and Anna are terrified that their only son had died. As they approached Nineveh, Azariah told Tobiah to smear the gall of the fish on Tobit’s eyes. Tobiah does so and the cataracts fall off his eyes him to see. Tobiah tells everything that happened to him to his father and both men praise God. (And have another wedding feast. These guys knew how to party!) When Tobiah attempts to give half of what he brought back from Media to Azariah as payment, Azariah outs himself as an archangel. “I am Raphael, one of seven who serve before the Glory of God,” he says, before ascending back into Heaven.
The moral of the story goes like this: bad things happen to good people but God uses these bad things to accomplish even better things for His people. If Tobit had never been blinded, Tobiah would never gone to Media, never would have met Sarah, never collected the money and gotten rich and most importantly Tobit would have never had a visit from an archangel to affirm his heroic faith. Sarah probably would have hung herself and Tobit would have died without grandchildren because Tobiah would have never married. Tobit’s glorification came about through his son, but it is called the book of Tobit because it is about him. He trusted in God no matter what. He never spoke against Him or questioned His ways. At least three times is praised as an outstanding and noble father. Tobit should be a model for all fathers on Father’s Day.
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